THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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