I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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