Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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