Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
