look no pants
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
