even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
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Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
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the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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