I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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