I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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