why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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