i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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