I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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