The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
