It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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