Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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