maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
