That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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