Moan for me like Helen Keller
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
