Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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