OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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