Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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