he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
