dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
