She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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