Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
