im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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