Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
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We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It's blow job season.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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