So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
