problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
