I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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