Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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