I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
