Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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