I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
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Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
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Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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