Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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