We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
