Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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