I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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