I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize