Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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