so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
