i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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