Need sex. Gaining weight.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
