Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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