...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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