forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
