He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just pynch a tree in the face
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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