Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
