I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize