you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
