the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
