Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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